Mediation

Mediation is a co-operative process whereby the disputing parties attempt to reach a mutually acceptable agreement or settlement or at least to reduce conflict. A mediator (third party) participates in the discussions, assists the parties and act as a facilitator. The outcome is determined by the parties, not by the mediator.

Goals of Mediation

To reduce, resolve or manage conflict
To make appropriate decisions to deal effectively with conflict
To provide a plan that serves the best interest of the child-parenting plan

The role of the mediator

The role of the mediator is to manage the negotiations in an impartial manner.
Mediators do not offer advice, whether legal or psychological, and do not represent either party in any way.
The mediator should also not have had any previous dealings with either party, whether professional or social.
Aim to provide an environment where emotions frequently experienced by divorcing couples, such as anger, hurt, desperation and fear, can be contained by focusing on what needs to be resolved rather than exploring the reasons for the break-up of the marriage.
It is sometimes appropriate for a couple contemplating divorce or separation, to seek psychological or therapeutic assistance to deal with the psychological aspects of divorce or separation while at the same time entering into mediation.

Parenting plans and the Law

A parenting plan according to Section 33 (1) of the Children’s Act states that a parenting plan must be in writing and signed by the parties to the agreement; and may be registered with a family advocate or made an order of court. If the co-holders of parental responsibilities and rights in respect of a child are experiencing difficulties in exercising their responsibilities, those persons must first seek to agree on a parenting plan (Section 33 (2) - Child care act).

Mediation will work for you if:

you and your partner agree that you can negotiate in a fair and equitable manner;
children are involved and you would like to draft a parenting plan;
you wish to save money in terms of a contested divorce; and/or
you want your differences to be resolved as soon as possible.

Parenting plans include among other things:

Day-to-day communication with/about the children
Emergencies - who to contact
Educational decisions
Extra-curricular activities
Religion
Medical - day-to-day
Schools
Grandparents and extended family
Residency plan
Swapping and exchanging times
Holidays
Consent to leave the country
Consent to apply for a passport
Special days - Mother’s day and Father’s Day
Birthdays - parents and children
Public and religious holidays
Maintenance
Extra costs for school/medical
New life partners/marital partners
Death of one or both of the parties
Procedure to be followed if there is a material change in circumstances
Change of address